


Two Ways the War Could Have Ended

by AnneScriblerian



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Cutting, Dark, M/M, Madness, Murder, Non Consensual, Songfic, Suicide, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-17
Updated: 2013-07-17
Packaged: 2017-12-20 12:40:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/887387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnneScriblerian/pseuds/AnneScriblerian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two linked songfics. In one, Harry goes mad without Severus. In the other, Severus goes mad without Harry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Ways the War Could Have Ended

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2010. These come from a dark place.

1\. "The Next Time You Say 'Forever'" (Neko Case)

_I hear the tiniest sparks and the tenderest sounds_ __  
diving music, drowning the sound  
waltzing with the hairs upon my arms 

Harry Potter doesn’t hear them when they enter Snape’s old rooms. Hermione’s eyes squint against the music, as if its painful volume was as blinding as the sun. Ron doesn’t bother with flinching. He just stalks up to the stereo and shuts it down.

_and your fight or flight alarm  
and you tremble, and you stumble, and you scrape up your palms _

Harry panics in the silence. Ron fights to keep him away from the stereo. Hermione can’t hold him. Harry is too strong for her, even in his emaciated state. Ron chases after Harry as he hares off down the dungeon corridors. When Ron tackles him, Harry’s knees and palms leave shards of skin on the rough floors.

_I can't stay here to hold your hand_ __  
I've been away for so long  
I've lost my taste for home  
and that's a dirty fallow feeling 

When Harry bites Ron’s hand, the tall man swears but he doesn’t let go. This is all that is left; it's the only option. Harry can’t stay here anymore. Minerva has been more than patient. But it’s not healthy for anyone to have a mad savior sequestered deep in the bowels of Hogwarts. It’s simply no longer safe for the students. It isn’t making Harry any better, either.

_to be the dangling ceiling_ __  
from when the roof came crashing down  
peeling in the heat  
vanish in the rain 

Hermione is crying and she won’t stop crying. Ron wishes that she hadn’t come, that she had allowed him to retrieve Harry by himself. In future years he will come to understand that she had to see it for herself. She would never have forgiven him for taking Harry away from Hogwarts if she hadn’t seen the state that things had reached.

_the next time you say forever, I will punch you in your face  
just because you don't believe it, doesn't mean I didn't mean it _

Harry is screaming and writhing and biting. Hermione is the one who finally puts him in a Full-Body Bind. Ron has stoically taken whatever Harry has given. Ron had hated Snape more than anyone. But Ron understands love. Ron feels, on some level, that he deserves to be punished for not believing that Harry could really love the greasy git. Hermione blames herself for not knowing enough and letting Snape die. But Ron knows that what he did was worse. He didn’t give a damn.

_you never know when I'll show you the never  
you never know when I'll show you the never _

Harry Potter lived for a very long time. He destroyed the Janus Thickey Ward so many times that they finally let him have his music. Hermione set him up with a Muggle music player and headphones. Then Harry would sit, and rock, and cry. He never seemed to notice when his friends held his hand. He would only say one word. He said it over and over and over.

2\. "Delicate Cutters" (Throwing Muses)

_It’s just the lack_ __  
Of time I keep  
Reaching out, lashing out 

Severus Snape works feverishly. He understands the theory. He should be able to create a Time-Turner. He ignores the Novikov Self-Consistency Principle. He can do magic, for Merlin's sake.

_It’s just the lines_ __  
Run down the walls  
I can’t believe they never fall

The Dark Lord doesn't care what Severus does in his cell. At least the Time-Turner project keeps the Potions Master quiet. When Severus is engrossed, he seems to forget he's in a cell and he doesn't damage his hands with scratching at the walls. The Dark Lord has plans for those hands and prefers them to remain undamaged.

_The walls never leave  
And the walls begin to scream_

When Severus does remember where he is he begins to tear at the walls, at his robes, at his skin. Then he has to be Obliviated and the cycle starts all over again.

_Ahhh_ __  
And my toes against the wall  
I stare ahead

Other times Severus just stops. His minders barely notice this phase anymore. At least he's quiet. They no longer worry about his blank stares. He's still in there. At least the part that the Dark Lord values is in there. And that's all that anyone cares about.

_The door inside the wall_ __  
Your face inside the door  
You crawl across the room

It amuses the Dark Lord when Severus starts pleading with Harry. Severus's minders have a standing order to notify him whenever this particular phase begins. Sometimes Draco is invited as well. He doesn't enjoy it, but he must pretend that he does.

_The picture never moves  
My books are very still_

The worst, for Draco, is when Severus clearly believes that he is back in Hogwarts. He stands tall and wraps himself in his cloak and uses his detention voice. The dignity in his eyes makes Draco wish that Severus was dead.

_You slide to my feet  
You slide across the floor_

The things that Severus says make Draco glad that Harry is dead.

_I_ __  
Throw your head across the ice  
I  
Throw my head through a window  
Crash  
Like poetry

And when the Dark Lord forces Draco to do the things that Severus orders Harry to do, Draco wishes he himself were dead.

_It’s four o’clock, I’m waiting_ __  
Your face appears  
I keep forgetting your name

Draco crawls and kneels and bends and sucks and is beaten and is bitten and is taken and is called "Harry," "Harry," "Harry."

_While I’m writing this, you_ __  
You crash through the wall  
You fall off the floor

Severus is happy in his mad fantasy but he is destroying Draco. Draco only blames Harry. He wants to go back in time and kill him again and again and again.

_I_  
Slide your head across the ice  
I  
Throw my hands through the window  
Crash  
Like gods

One day Draco takes a shard of metal from Severus's abandoned Time-Turner project and slits his wrists as Severus thrusts into him. The Dark Lord laughs and laughs. Severus doesn't even notice until the blood dries on his skin and robes and begins to itch.

_A room_ __  
Full of delicate cutters  
All sitting down, the room has many doors  
All but one of them are closed

Lord Voldemort likes this variation on the game. Prisoners are requisitioned. The Dark Lord starts spending more and more time watching. He knew those elegant, precise hands would prove worth saving. At first Severus cries every time he accidentally kills Harry. But it doesn't stop him from starting all over again. Perhaps he is hoping to find the real Harry hiding underneath the skin of these shadows.

_She goes around_  
(Remember)  
Opening the doors.

Bellatrix is jealous. She decides to end this strange fascination. The prisoners she sends get older, they get fatter, eventually some of them are female. The Dark Lord doesn't complain. The less the prisoners look like Harry the more frantically Severus cuts. Voldemort never leaves the room now.

_This has another ending_ __  
Full of innocent children  
One of them are closed

If Harry had lived; if Severus had died. If Harry had never bled. If Voldemort had not lived because Harry bled. Severus cuts away the error, cuts away the past, he cuts and cuts and cuts.

_She goes around_ __  
This has another ending  
(Remember the room)  
Full of delicate cutters  
Opening the doors

When Severus finally cuts out the source of his sickness, the Dark Lord never even sees it coming. After he carves up his tormentor, Severus turns the knife on himself. He runs through the door, into Harry's waiting arms.


End file.
